Feeling Lost as a Parent? Why That’s a Sign You’re Doing It Right
There’s this moment in parenting that no one warns you about. It sneaks in when your child walks into their first classroom, or when your teenager suddenly seems like a stranger in your own home, or when you’re standing in a too-quiet kitchen after dropping them off at college. In those moments, you might find yourself asking, “Am I doing this right? Have I prepared them for this next stage?”
Here’s the thing: there is no parenting handbook. No perfect map. No exact right way to walk through these changes. But if you’re here, wondering if you’re a good mom, I want you to take a deep breath and hear me clearly, that question alone is the first sign that you already are.
Research actually backs this up. Studies show that feelings of inadequacy are incredibly common among parents. It doesn’t matter if your child is in preschool, high school, or out on their own. Parents everywhere wrestle with endless guilt, comparison, and self-doubt. One study even noted that transitions, like starting school or leaving the nest, are some of the biggest stress points for families because routines change and parents suddenly feel unsure of their role. And let’s be real, the myth of the “perfect parent” only makes it worse. Chasing that impossible standard leads to more stress and less joy.
But here’s what the research also shows: what really matters is connection and flexibility. Parents who give themselves grace, adapt with the seasons of life, and stay present with their kids, even when it gets messy, are the ones who build the strongest relationships.
So what does that mean for you right now?
It means you can let go of the handbook that doesn’t exist.
It means that your doubt is proof of your love.
It means it’s okay to admit that what worked when your child was five isn’t going to work when they’re fifteen.
It means you can practice talking to yourself with the same kindness you’d give your best friend.
And it means leaning on others (friends, family, or even a coach) when you need a reminder that you’re not the only one fumbling through this.
Most importantly, it means you will figure it out. Not perfectly. Not without mistakes. But in a way that works for your family. And that’s more than enough.
I’ve seen it firsthand. The mom who sends her little one to kindergarten, worried sick that she didn’t teach them enough, only to watch them thrive and bloom. The parent of a teenager who feels shut out by slammed doors and eye rolls, later realizing that space was actually a healthy sign of growth. The mom staring at an empty bedroom after college move-in, grieving in the quiet but also slowly rediscovering her own passions and joy.
These stories aren’t proof that parenting gets easier. They’re proof that you adapt. And in adapting, you show up. That’s what good parenting looks like.
So if you’re feeling lost, please remember: you’re not failing. You’re just moving into a new stage. And the very fact that you care enough to question yourself tells me everything I need to know: you’re a good mom. You always have been.
And if you’d like some extra support while you’re navigating these changes, I’d love to walk with you. You don’t have to figure it out alone.
